I had an amazing team led by the extraordinary Amy Deputy, who not only does amazing work, but has a heart bigger than the state of Texas. Our mentors were: Huy Nguyen, Rachel LaCour Nieson and Jay Premack. One thing I loved about the team leaders was that they all had skills and personalities that complemented each other. But the most important gift to me was their total generosity with their time, their skills and their energy. We had the only all female team, which I thought was pretty cool. My amazing team members were: Britt Bailey, Gulnara Samoilova, Emmy Sherman, Tak Yi Young and Tina Wilson. We made such a great team--I love them all. And a shout out to Matt Mendelsohn, who is nothing short of splendid. He is not only a great photographer, but a darn good writer to boot.

We were each given an assignment to shoot. Mine was to photograph the opening of a new yoga studio called Get Yogafied and in particular the story of Shana, who is an attorney looking to change her life by helping to open a yoga studio. After reviewing my photos from the first day of shooting, the team leaders decided that that story was complete even without the lawyer angle and that I needed to find something that would challenge me a bit more. So Huy, in his infinite wisdom, thought I should just head up 75 north and find a truck stop to shoot at. So I did. I had never been to a truck stop before and I was pleasantly surprised by how friendly everyone was. Only two people did not want me to take their photo. Mostly people just wanted me to listen to their story. Among the many people I met was JR, who works at the adjoining mini mart. He invited me to come to his 280 acre place where he has 40 DONKEYS. So of course I couldn't pass that one up. And Amy came along for the ride.

The final night everyone showed slides of their work and I WAS BLOWN AWAY! If you want to go to a workshop that doesn't talk about marketing, gear or posing, but gets to the heart of photography--the art of telling a story, then this is the one for you. The first day I got there and found out that many people had been before I was confused. I thought "why would you attend the same workshop more than once?" Now I am mentally saving my pennies to go back next year.

Below are three slideshows that show what I shot while I was there. You should definitely check out Anna Kuperberg's amazing photos of the week here and Vlad's fabulous video here.

I feel like I have been stuck in some kind of rut since Ben was born almost five years ago. But if I was really honest it has been even longer than that. I struggle so much to find my own path and to not feel pressured to do things a certain way. My parents were all about the 'certain way' in life. I think that they felt success lay in keeping up with the joneses and dotting your Is and crossing your Ts. And when I fell short of that, which I inevitably always did, I didn't know where to turn. I had no model of what else life could look like.

I apologize if I have told this story on the blog before, but one of my favorite anecdotes is the first time I met my birth mother. My parents are neat freaks. You could eat off their floors. Every time we kids put something on a counter my dad would say "Put this back where it goes". Everything was spotless. I was not good at spotless. For years I would have fits of neatness followed by spurts of slovenly living and then back again. The day I met my birth mother I went in to her house in Eureka and when I walked in I thought, "This explains a lot". There was stuff EVERYWHERE and I mean EVERYWHERE. Stuff made up additional furniture. There was a pile of used diet coke cans that almost filled a room. It was INSANE. My mother would have broken out into hives if she had seen that. And suddenly the 'chaos followed by order' cycle seemed a little less crazy. It was nature/nurture in action.

I carry this perfect ideal in my head and as soon as I fall short of it, I let everything go. I am all or nothing. I exercise every day or not at all; if I eat one Haagen Dazs bar, I eat them all. I desperately need some moderation in my life, but seem unable to find it. My life has spun out of control lately. My head and my house are so full of STUFF that I cannot see anything. But sorting it all out seems like an overwhelming task. There is the very famous saying about "a journey of 10,000 miles begins with a single step," but I am unable to take that step. All I see is the enormous mountain top in front of me and I decide to take a nap instead.

My dear friend Mollie is superficially the opposite of me. Her house is perfect, her clothes are perfect, she is beautiful and always looks so put together. I have had periods in my life like that, but never able to sustain them very long. I know that Mollie is not perfect. In personality I think we are more similar than different. I could use a little more of Mollie's togetherness and she could probably use a little more of my laid back ways. When I met my friend Tara for the first time I felt this crazy kinship with her because she was as laid back as I was. She didn't care what she wore or that every hair was in place and yet she exuded a strong sense of confidence that I also share. I KNOW my value, but I want to feel as outwardly confident as I can be on the inside.

And really this is mostly a problem of perception, isn't it? I always have people say to me, "You seem so together" and I almost spurt my Diet Pepsi out my nose. Or they come over and say how neat my house is (in that case I think they are just being polite). And then I wonder what matters more--the fact that I read three novels a week or the fact that my house is a disaster zone? I think it all comes down to the fact that I need to stop thinking life is an either/or proposition. Anyone who has any advice gets a chocolate bar sent to them. I would send a cocktail, but that would be messy.

Our little family has been struck by sick kids and pink eye and sick mommy. It has been a whirlwind of disease and disruption of the routine around here. I suppose that is par for the course in February. And then to top it off some crazy guy rams his plane into an office building a half mile from here. Luckily no one was hurt. Normality, like Susie and Sadie snuggling in a chair, never looked so seductive.

Shot with a Hasselblad 500C on Kodak Portra 400NC.